Also, what I still have to add to my site (for it to be considered "done" in my eyes and at that point where I'm updating/adding new pages as opposed to the site stil being in like wip mode ykno.):

  • Page for writing that's more organized/edited than my "Diary" page. Like a blog one i guess??
  • TMA writing pages

I actually get closer to being "done" with this everyday yippeeeeee. I'm mostly excited about that so I can put a link to my site on my tumblr and be like look at my WEBSITE yay.

06/04/2024 - 8:50pm

UGHH I was gonna make a page for like my original art too i guess (not that I have much or that its a main focus for me, but it exists) but GOD I hate having to take pictures of the art and then edit the pictures etc etc. to put on my site. Lol maybe once I do some other stuff I'll have the motivation to go back to doing that. But I really only care much for my TMA art above all. In the past when my art was even a few weeks-months old I used to no longer identify with that art/liked what it looked like/was a completely different person about that art. But like now all my art is so me like all the time and I can look at stuff I made months-years ago and be like yeah That's Me. Like even if I was a different me back then I still adore all of it. I don't mean this in a narcissistic way or anything but I love all the art I make/have made and think its all genuinely so good. Even when there are obvious technical flaws I can see in past art like ?? ITS STILL AMAZING. I think everyone should be like this about their art wdym you think your old art is bad? I can view my soul in it. This change may be due to the fact that I draw less often compared to when I was younger and drew like every day, or may be due to the fact that I haven't changed "fandoms" in a while, or maybe its due to the fact that now that I am older as an individual my personality, interests, etc. are more established ??? IDK but even when I was a different me and in a different era I can emphathize with my old art just as much/honestly appreciate it way more than I did back then. Like i don't know how to put it into words for why this is the case but its all SO GOOD. Like it's actually amazing, even if I don't agree with the way I portrayed or designed a character or something or whatever. The technical aspects of how bad the anatomy or poses or whatever tf are the least of my worries as well tbh, they don't affect how I view the drawings at all anymore. Like all the stuff I made and the stuff I continue to make is all ...SOOO GOOD. Like I look at anything I have made in the past, or now, and I'm so genuinely happy with it regardless of result now. My thoughts back then about my favorite characters etc. and stuff were all so amazing I'm amazing. Even the smallest objectively most terrible sketches I have made are all so good. I can feel the energy flowing between me and it. I feel that the increased confidence and happiness in other aspects of my life especially in regards to how I view myself/appreciate myself and allow myself to actually exist in the world and do whatever tf I want are the likely cause of this feeling and appreciation for my art. The rest of my life before this was likely just a result of a lack of self-love and having an overall self-deprecating attitude. But it feels like its such the norm to not ever be happy with your work or talk about it in anything other than a humble at best to self-hating at worst way. Or maybe this is just my POV from the artist circles I view. But Like you can be completely fulfilled and overjoyed and happy with your current work and still "improve" in technical ways (This is the least important aspect of art though imo) etc. like appreciation and happiness =/= stagnation and arrogance. WHATEVAR.

01/22/2024 - 2:24pm

I NEED TO ACTUALLY HAVE HOBBIES AND LIKE. participate in them and like do stuff....like i need to do something else with this website OR SOMETHINGG....idk im sorry im really truly living and embodying the idgaf lifestyle

11/24/2023 - 11:34pm

I definitely hate the fact that I have to find a cool new header and background image every time I make a new page LOL

11/16/2023 - 4:55pm

OK So let me make a list of everything I want to do to this site (like everything everything. to keep track)

  • Find a bunch more different background/header images etc. to decorate more webpages I make. need to change the background/header image of my intro page especially but I have no nice backgrounds rn!
  • Figure out how I wanna categorize the rest of my art. Like...for example: Through when I first got into The Magnus Archives to now, I didn't post any of the drawings I made for like over a year, and even still now really don't post all the drawings I make (on my Tumblr I mean. Which is my main social media). I want these drawings to be seperate from my posted Tumblr TMA pieces yknow?
  • Need to make page for my blinkies I've made
  • Music thoughts etc. page
  • Jewelry I've made page

11/16/2023 - 4:50pm

I feel like I need to make a list of everything I plan on doing over Fall Break to make sure I actually do something instead of just rotting on my phone for 1 million hours a day..............scrolled through a bunch of neocity pages the other day and somehow felt both really aimless but also suddenly inspired. It's like IDKKKK i suddenly do not know what I wanna do with my webpage when there's so many directions to take it in. Also why does it seem like everyone is so good at graphic design. I feel like all the colors I pick for my site look bad and i spend 1 million hours workshopping the colors to be slightly different constantly.

11/08/2023 - 12:41pm

Mayhaps I need to edit my intro page and actually finish it........its maybe not giving ppl the best impression when my intro page is still messed up and unfinished !!!!! So much to always do hehe. Also I keep wanting to add more to my about me because I feel like I have no info on me on it....especially when i see other people's websites and its like HERE is every single thing i've ever been into and all these cool fun facts about me. But then when I go to add to my about me it all just feels like....meeehhh idk. How do other people seem to magically write down their entire persona/internet being into a few paragraphs. I feel like no matter what I write on my about me nothing is "quite right"""".......I'm not quite sure how to exactly interact with other people through personal websites quite yet too.

11/07/2023 - 11:38am

Some guy stole my seat in math class today. my pain is immeasurable and my day is ruined

11/03/2023 9:17am

I wanna make a page for music thoughts. unsure how to format it *pondering*. but then i should probably work on one thing at a time and finish all my art pages first. I also haven't even updated the look of my intro page hahah. but what do you know of control? the wind is simply at your baaack. It really seems pollen's more clever than bees, so you cue the final words of Leary and cry "Why Why Why? Why not? Why not? Why not?".................so

11/03/2023 - 9:15am

Yes yes yes.....no no no no no

10/31/2023 - 7:28pm

So tired. so sleepy tired. All i've been thinking about and daydreaming for days is the unrestrained sleeper. He sleeps and naps whenever he wants to with no other responsibilities or alarms or needs to think about anything but sleep. He sleeps. unrestrained. I need to be him. I want to be him so bad. I need to be the unrestrained sleeper. There's the biggest bone deep exhaustion within me at all times. not like spiritually or emotionally or whatever just like physically. I want to sleep so bad all the time. Me when the long term sleep deprivation actually affects every aspect of my life *shocked pikachu face*. I signed up to do this sleep study thing where I just do a bunch of surveys for a few days about my quality of sleep at my college in return for a gift card and its kind of made me be like DAMN. When i go and write down how long i slept and if i slept through the night and my quality of sleep etc. and its like....so obviously bad. like damn. I need to be the unrestrained sleeper. He is me (trying to embody it). Also happy halloween obviously. I was Louis from Interview With The Vampire. the unrestrained sleeper sleeps for one billion years. Whenever i try to mention the unrestrained sleeper to like friends or whtever they don't get it and idk why. its like The Killer. The unrestrained sleeper is just someone who's out there. Who can be you or me...hopefully. I think about the unrestrained sleeper. This makes me think of Jeff The Killer because I said The Killer and I'm talking about sleep and his whole thing was like "go to sleep" or whatever. I want to update my site to include literally all the art I've ever made (and still have access to of course). and ohhhhh my god its going to take fucking forever. I'm gonna go take pictures of all the pages in my sketchbooks from middle school where I drew hamilton and everything.

10/25/2023 - 3:53pm

Should I display my art with a bunch of thumbnails that you can click on to direct you to a page with the larger image...or use a a carousel?

10/25/2023 - 12:42

woof woof. I haven't made any neckplaces in forever (like 2 months) but someone recently messaged me asking to buy one for their friend's birthday...back on the jewelry grind.

10/20/2023 - 7:05pm

Went to the mall with my kittens. It was swag. I was so stressed out on the way there and back in the carride that i swear I lost 3 years off of my lifespan. I hate driving and being in a car actually. One of my friends drove us there though hehe at least meow. I also realized today that I hate malls. Maybe I knew that before but it's been so long since I've actually been in one that I forgot. It was so loud, every single store felt the need to play exeedingly loud music insde their store. and there was so many people... AGH!

10/20/2023 - 1:01pm

Ate yummy food nom. so full and satisfying so rare that I actually was in the corrent "mood" to eat and enjoy it but I was YAY

10/20/2023 - 10:59am


10/19/2023 - 4:26pm

Bro I have been scouring all the code and css and shit for every page of my website trying to find where the code that's MAKING THE FIRST LETTER OF MY TEXT A DIFFERENT COLOR and i cant fix it. i cant find it. ???????? WHERE IS IT BRO. I used a template to start stuff and it was like that originally. WHERE TF IS THE CODE DOING THAT??????????? about to go sit in my college's computer science building area looking at my computer confused until someone comes and saves me.

10/18/2023 - 7:38pm

Erghh. Why is it so hard for me to find a nice font that fits all my needs and vibes perfectly and looks good. Maybe I'm too picky. I'll probably just end up using arial in the end anyway.